Jim Carrey Obviously Did Not Do Weight Watchers

One of my absolute favorite things about famous people is their ability to gain weight for a role. What sacrifices they make. They get to eat Twinkies, Ho-Hos, Ding Dongs . . . essentially any Hostess snack on the market . . . and they not only add fifty pounds to their frame, they add an Oscar to their mantle!

I'm talking to YOU Charlize Theron

I’m talking to YOU Charlize Theron.

Whereas when I eat, say, a six pack of Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies or a whole roll of Rolos, I earn a stamp “Born Again Virgin for Life” on my forehead. It’s really quite unfair when you think about it.

That’s why I’m digging that Jim Carrey finally stands for the truth. Jim lost a bunch of weight to star in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone but he missed the F— out of food.

It’s not a happy place to be . . . I’m back now. I’ve got Mr. Cuddly back and we’re happy. It’s not a natural place to live in that kind of shape. It looks great. It’s fantastic and gets a lot of attention, but you have to eat, like, antimatter to stay in that kind of shape.

Jenny McCarthy obviously never made him vaccinate the sexy.

I bet Jim did Nutrisystem because I hear that food is BLAND. I don’t care what Marie Osmond says.

We can be thankful for one more thing. Jenny McCarthy obviously never made him vaccinate the sexy disease out of his hot body.

 

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Jim Carrey Obviously Did Not Do Weight Watchers

  1. I like that he gets to go back to being normal, but most female celebrities are criticized if they don’t return to their former weight within three weeks of birthing a baby. And then when they do lose the weight, they lie and say they lost it simply by breastfeeding. And even though I KNOW this is not true, subconsciously I’m all “why doesn’t my body function like that?” and then I get sad and consume my feelings by eating a bag of Cadbury Mini-eggs.

  2. thedvrfiles says:

    Oh it TOTES makes me giggle. Janine Garofalo had this bit years ago how we’re supposed to be proud of actresses who gain weight for roles. She’s all, I’ve got it RIGHT here for you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s