The Grammys were on last night. I DVR’ed them and watched it piecemeal, so my tweets were about two hours behind everyone’s. How retro!

Oh my God Jimmy Brooks is at the Grammys! And no wheelchair! Must be a miracle.

I only started watching the Grammys again last year after a 22 year hiatus. Why, you ask? Well, I’m still f—ing bitter that Milli Vanilli turned out to be a fraud.

Girl you know it’s true that these men were fake. It’s a tragedy for me to see the dream is over!

For all of you who have suppressed these painful memories, Milli Vanilli won the Grammy in 1990 for Best New Artist. I was THRILLED. While my fifth-grade classmates were all about Hanging Tough with the Boston-based New Kids, I had more European tastes and enjoyed the Brothers of Soul Fab and Rob, the two members of Milli Vanilli who were French and German, respectively.

My mom let me stay up and watch the Grammys in 1990. How I whooped and cried tears of joy when Milli and Vanilli beat out the Indigo Girls, Tone Loc, Neneh Cherry and Soul II Soul as Best New Artist. And then months later they had to return the Grammy  because they had lip-synched, and not Beyonce-style. They lip-synched EVERYTHING.

I totally remember watching those Grammys, so much that I even googled my favorite performance of the night. Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about Mike + the Mechanics. You’re welcome.