Confesh: I haven’t watched Real Howives of New York City in two seasons. As a resident of the Big Apple, I see enough self-indulgent, super skinny, narcissistic white women in my own time, so there’s no real need for me tune in.

Please, a fat girl margarita tastes a LOT better, am I right or am I right?

HOWEVER, that was not always the case. A few years ago there was this awesome lady who galloped in a land of lollipops and rainbows and daisies. She ran through the streets of midtown STOPPING traffic. And now this woman, Kelly Bensimon, is going to business school. Online. Which is actually more of an accomplishment than you think because that means she knows how to use a computer.

Cars? What cars? I’m up here, you’re down here, cars!

Kelly is apparently taking classes at Northeastern in Boston, which is wicked cool as I lived in Beantown for five years and grew up in the suburbs. You bet your ass that if I were still living in the city I would be stalking the computer modems on their campus to catch a glimpse of her online profile.

I just hope that at her graduation she makes as many friends as Tyra did when she “graduated” from Harvard. Hehe, hehe.