Okay, truth time. This is not something I am proud to admit, but I am really f—ing jealous of children of famous people.

Yes I dress better than you. Gotta problem with that, bitches?

They get to do all sorts of fun things, like hang out with rich people (their parents), have rich people people buy them things (again, their parents), and star in movies that rich people probably bought for them (Jaden and Willow Smith’s parents). It’s so f—ing unfair.

One child of famous people bucks that trend. She is a super geeky kid who wears glasses, striped socks, and loves to f–ing read. Oh yes, I am talking about Violet Affleck.

You know her favorite movie of her dad’s is Voyage of the Mimi because it has science and stuff.

I just love the Affleck/Garner clan. The kids are normal, they look like they wear clothes from Target, and I haven’t seen them in any movies. Plus they are totally like MY family, except richer: Mom is slightly older than Dad, and then the birth order of the kidz is girl (Vi), girl (Seraphina), boy (Sam). And they’re Red Sox fans!

They hope their family portrait can be this cute.

So Violet, thank you for saving me from being a misanthrope. And can I PLEASE borrow your Big Dog/Little Dog costume when I am pregnant with my second kid???

Squeal!