I got glasses for the first time twenty years ago when I was, er, 4. That’s right. 4. (Okay, I was actually 13, but whatevs).
“Glasses will make you look smart,” my mom told me. Well, gee, thanks. I AM smart, I don’t need to look smart too! My membership on the math team, my reigning spelling bee championship, and position on the high honor roll confirmed my dateless existence/intelligence just fine, thankyouverymuch. The glasses just put the nail in the coffin.
So I am thrilled that two decades later Hollywood has held onto perhaps the biggest stereotype in the world: that brainiacs wear glasses. And perhaps none is a bigger example than this than Alex Dunphy on Modern Family.
Ariel Winter, the 14-year-old actress who plays Alex, takes this prejudice one step further. At an event for Ronald McDonald’s House (good girl, I approve of this charity), she explains to
my Bible People mag:
It’s not that difficult to balance [work and school] . . . I’m big into school. I really try to make it work . . . I want to go to college. I want to go to film school at NYU. I used to want to go to medical school. I wanted to be a forensic scientist. There were so many things I wanted to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I think that it’s great that she wants to continue her education, Hermione Granger-style. But why don’t they ever ask her sister Haley about college?
That’s right because she has perfect eyesight and bangs her boyfriend Dylan. That’s why.
The pressure, of course, is weighing heavily on Alex/Ariel. In fact, she so wanted to bust out of her role as a big old dweeb that she showed off her budding cleavage at last year’s Emmys as a 13-year-old. Ewww, I know.
So Alex/Ariel, keep the good grades up, but please have a little scandal while wearing your glasses. That would stick it to the man!