I got glasses for the first time twenty years ago when I was, er, 4. That’s right. 4. (Okay, I was actually 13, but whatevs).

“Glasses will make you look smart,” my mom told me. Well, gee, thanks. I AM smart, I don’t need to look smart too! My membership on the math team, my reigning spelling bee championship, and position on the high honor roll confirmed my dateless existence/intelligence just fine, thankyouverymuch. The glasses just put the nail in the coffin.

I’m sure this perm didn’t help either.

So I am thrilled that two decades later Hollywood has held onto perhaps the biggest stereotype in the world: that brainiacs wear glasses. And perhaps none is a bigger example than this than Alex Dunphy on Modern Family.

Let’s place chess! Checkers is too easy!

Ariel Winter, the 14-year-old actress who plays Alex, takes this prejudice one step further. At an event for Ronald McDonald’s House (good girl, I approve of this charity), she explains to my Bible People mag:

It’s not that difficult to balance [work and school] . . . I’m big into school. I really try to make it work . . . I want to go to college. I want to go to film school at NYU. I used to want to go to medical school. I wanted to be a forensic scientist. There were so many things I wanted to do.

GEEK!

Don’t get me wrong, I think that it’s great that she wants to continue her education, Hermione Granger-style. But why don’t they ever ask her sister Haley about college?

That’s right because she has perfect eyesight and bangs her boyfriend Dylan. That’s why.

Can you blame her? He’s a rock star.

The pressure, of course, is weighing heavily on Alex/Ariel. In fact, she so wanted to bust out of her role as a big old dweeb that she showed off her budding cleavage at last year’s Emmys as a 13-year-old. Ewww, I know.

Stop looking, pervs. She’s 13!

So Alex/Ariel, keep the good grades up, but please have a little scandal while wearing your glasses. That would stick it to the man!