Salma Hayek used to be cool. She was beautiful and smart and a feminist who produced and starred in the movie Frida. She was on my A List of stars.

From Dusk till Dawn she was one sexy bitch!

And then she had to get married and get LAME.

Salma paged Captain Obvious is this month’s issue of More magazine, via People.com, where she stated that she didn’t think she could so happy in a marriage. Well, sweetheart, you married Francois-Henri Pinault, who is a billionaire. Yup, I’d be happy too.

Now I am going to see if there is any free lunch left over in the kitchen. A girl can dream!