I mean, look at them!

This bitch will totally beat the hare.

That said, I adore human babies too! When my friends announce their pregnant, I’m all, call me when you buy them Legos because I will be over all day!

So you can imagine my absolute JOY when Homeland star Claire Danes announced she was pregnant and expecting, you’ve got it, a HUMAN BABY! Oh, what a surprise. And oh, get over yourself.

Claire Danes, self-important since she was Angela Chase

Here’s the thing. I am happy for Claire and her husband Hugh Dancy. Woohoo! And I can even understand wanting to keep the baby’s sex a secret. However, don’t act all smug about it. Just lie and say you’re waiting to you pop it out to find out if it is a boy or a girl. Don’t go on the important news show Live! With Kelly and tell us it’s a human. I kind of figured that part out, silly!

I know it seems like your DVR-phile has been talking a LOT of trash about celebrities lately. This past week alone I’ve debated if LeAnn Rimes or Kim Kardashian is the biggest fame whore, I’ve mocked Heidi Klum for possibly fornicating with the help, and then I questioned the validity of how long Nina Dobrev pined for costar Ian Somerhalder. Do not fear, friends, I do in fact LOVE famous people. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, for example, are my favorite couple ever and I will chop off Ben’s nuts if he ever cheats on Jen. Yes, they are big movie stars now, but they got their start on the boob tube. Jen on Alias and Ben on the classic PBS mini series The Voyage of the Mimi.

He’ll always be C.T. to me.

Famous people are just like you and me. And just like you and me, sometimes I like them, sometimes I don’t. And because I like YOU, I’ll leave you with a clip from The Voyage of the Mimi. Sing the theme song with me! Do do do do do, do do do do do do do!