That George Clooney, he sure is a talented actor! And so handsome too! He’s won an Oscar, he dates hot chicks, and he owns a villa in Rome! And did you know he was raised Catholic just like this girl???
So I am going to pray to Jesus because, sure, George has won an Oscar for best supporting actor (Syriana, did anyone actually see it???). Sure he starred in The Descendants which made me cry and cry and cry. And sure, his aunt is the late great Rosemary Clooney . . . but know what is not so sure? George doesn’t know his roots. His roots are tv. And I want him back.
I always knew George was going to be a big star when I first met him as handyman George Burnett on the seminal show The Facts of Life. He really knew how to handle Jo! And then he was great as Detective Falconer on every man’s favorite show Sisters. When he first starred on ER in 1994, everyone was all, that George, look at the Ceasar haircut! And I was all, I’ve been a fan for nearly 10 years! Jump on the Clooney train. Choo choo!
And then he became too cool for school and decided to become a movie star in 1999. And succeeded. Yes, I love him in movies (I’m talking to YOU Three Kings, The Perfect Storm, and the aforementioned The Descendants) but I loved him even more when he played a detective on an episode of Golden Girls. So George, stop being the big guy and come back to the boob tube! If you want to be all classy about it, just do a series on HBO!