Since the Emmys are just about 12 hours away and I have a dozen or so predictions left to make, these posts will be short and quick, kind of the way I imagine sex on a Duggar’s wedding night would be.

Though do NOT try to tell me she got preggers on her wedding night, as People mag claims. I think they did the dirty deed before they tied the knot. You go girl!

Let’s discuss Outstanding Drama Series.

The nominees:

• Breaking Bad
• Downton Abbey
• Game of Thrones
• House of Cards
• Mad Men
• True Detective

This lists is nearly synonymous with the noms for Outstanding Drama Series last year. The single omission in 2014 is Homeland. Hmmm, maybe the Emmys were all, we rolled our eyes so hard when Claire Danes, certified white girl (side note–I would know, I’m also a certified white girl), told Mandy Patinkin to holla in 2012.

Jesus F—ing Christ.

Or MAYBE the Emmys drank the Kool-Aid and thought that Rust Cohle’s high school nihilist poem masquerading as powerful philosophical thought was, well, deep.

We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self; an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody.

I’d still hit it. I’d just make him shut up.

Let’s just cut to the chase.

Who I Want to Win: Breaking Bad

Who Will Win: Breaking Bad. Or I am DONE.