I’m not trying to brag, but I am faster than Pamela Anderson.

Not on the beach though.

Pamela Anderson ran the New York City Marathon yesterday, finishing in a time of 5:41:03. That’s 5 hours, 41 minutes, and 3 seconds for all those people who can’t tell time. Because I am a catty bitch, I looked up her splits on the New York Road Runners website, and home girl started off at a respectable pace, around 10 minutes per mile, but then she slowed down quite a bit after the half marathon mark, averaging a 13:02 pace overall.

I ran the NYC Marathon in 2010 and 2011, and completed the 26.2 mile course in 4:53:27 and 4:56:46, respectively. I’m no Kenyan, but I’m still faster than America’s favorite Canadian (that would be Pam, people).

I wondered why people were calling me Jay-Z . . . .

To be fair, I have a much lighter load to carry up front.

At any rate, great job Pam! I still love you!