Hello my Sapphic disciples!

I have some good news–sort of. Everyone’s favorite lesbian–besides Ellen–is available! That’s right–Jane Lynch is now free to date you!

Come on. You didn’t REALLY think it was going to be Rosie?

I shouldn’t sound so full of glee–after all Lynch is only single because she is getting a divorce after three years of marriage, which kinds of stinks. But she’s rich, tall, blonde, and TOTALLY knows how to talk dirty. So start lining up now!