Hey you, with the sweat on your brow. Why don’t you come over? I have a cool treat for you.

Oh hell yes.

What? You thought I was going to give you a BEER? Bish please. Who do you think I am, President Obama?

Sno-Cones are better.

Nope, I’m going to make you an awesome Sno-Cone from my Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine. And I’m not like Lucy–I won’t charge you for it.

I’m impressed that they have a black friend. How progressive for 1979!

Oh sh–. I’m missing like five pieces from my Machine. Ughhhh. Life is so unfair. Let’s just have a goddamn Popsicle instead.