Hey kidz, hate to break your heart, but you won’t be seeing me for the next 72 hours. I will be locked in my apartment watching Showtime ALL F—ING WEEKEND!

He will always be David Fisher to me. Where’s Keith???

Just when I was starting to debate the existence of God, He made me a believer again. See, Time Warner Cable is offering free Showtime this weekend from January 11-13. While awesome, this also puts a lot of pressure on me. See, I am running a marathon in five weeks and since I’ve been permanently drunk the past month and a half (sorry Mom!) I REALLY need to start training. But I also need to watch Homeland. What the flying f— is a girl to do? And then the Patriots are playing Sunday at the same time that 50/50 is airing . . . I guess I will just have to flip a coin to see what program will get this girl’s attention!

Now, let’s be honest, Showtime probably only costs an additional $15 a month. But my cable bill is already putting me in major debt and I can only afford one premium channel, and that’s going to be HBO. But who knows, after this weekend I may just have to give up those one or two chai tea lattes I buy a month. Sacrifices, people, sacrifices.

And till I reach that point, let’s watch my all time favorite ending of a show, the last six minutes of Six Feet Under because Michael C. Hall will always be David to me (and that dude from The Mindy Project will always be Claire’s short boyfriend who made her a cool mix tape). NSFW if you are wearing mascara because you will weep like a baby.