GodDAMN it’s not a good week for minor celebrities from the early to mid ’90s.

Whoever thought Gay Matt would be the most likely to succeed Melrose Place class of 1992???

First we find out that Puck is going to jail for stalking (oh boy), and now we learn that Amy Locane-Bovenizer, known simply as Amy Locane when I knew her as the star of Cry-Baby, the first season of Melrose Place (alongside the Vanessa “A.” Williams), and the wannabe Dead Poets Society called School Ties (Oh Captain my captain you were such a lame movie), is facing five to ten years in the slammer for vehicular homicide after the SUV she was driving (while her blood alcohol level was three times over the legal limit) hit another car and killed a 60-year-old woman and severely injured her husband. Damn, that’s bad.

And ugh, I’m a terrible person for making a snarky headline. Eek. But seriously, no one wins here. One man lost his wife, and Locane’s two children will lose their mother while she’s in prison.

Now I have to look at pictures of kitty cats to make me feel better.

Ahhhhhhh!