To all those ladies devastated that Alfonso Ribeiro got married this weekend, don’t worry. You do not need to give up hope, because Russell Crowe may be splitting up with his wife Danielle Spencer. Maybe.

God he used to be hot.

Now, I actually feel kind of bad because they seem like a nice, low key couple with two frigging adorable boys. Well, correction. SHE seems low key–can we really forget the telephone incident where he threw a phone at a hotel concierge in New York? But whatevs. Despite getting super bloated the past few years, I still would have a drink and do other things with him.

I’ve been a fan of Russell’s since he starred in L.A. Confidential in 1997. I even wrote a term paper about him for a cultural anthropology course on pop culture and mass media my senior year in college when he was having an affair with Meg Ryan. I called it “You’ve Got Male: How the Girl Next Door Moved Away.” Get it?

So I guess we’ll see how this unfolds. Just don’t be near a phone if you see him!