Here’s the thing: I love you all very much but a girl’s gotta eat so she’s got to make her own money. Some people turn to prostitution, some turn to online dating, I turn to work.

And then Teresa turns to prostitution whoring, a really cool hybrid!

So let’s talk quickly before I dash off to my glamorous job. Hehe.

Last night I heard my amazingly talented brother Andrew Kelley Simons perform at The Path Cafe in New York City. It was rad. And it made me think I can’t wait till he makes a video that will run on MTV over and over and over. And then I reminded myself that I don’t watch music videos anymore. Ever. Oops!

But back in the day, I used to spend HOURS in front of the tv watching music videos. Oh, they were fun. I would tape them on ye olde VCR and interpret them and analyze them and just be deep. And I had favorites.

Perhaps none was so life-changing as the video for “November Rain” by Guns N’ Roses.

Oh how every child of the 1990s LOVED this homage to, er, love. And this is in the pre-Internet days, and at the end we all looked up Del James in the card catalog at the library to read his short story “Without You” which was apparently the inspiration for Rain. And unforch Stevens Memorial Library in North Andover, Massachusetts did not carry it! Boo f—ing hoo!

All right, time to make money!