Okay, I get it. Ryan Lochte is a stud. I have been a BIG supporter of the grill master on this blog because he is such a compassionate, articulate human being who cares so much about a woman’s feelings.

Hey girl, want to come over and wear shoes?

That said, while I’d be happy for him to find love as The Bachelor, there is someone else who I also want to bring back to my tv screen. Joe Millionaire! It’s time for the sequel.

Evan Marriott or Gaston from Beauty and the Beast  . . . you decide!

For those of you have blocked out the year 2003–which would be a TERRIBLE thing because it also brought us Gigli, Bennifer, and From Justin to Kelly–Joe Millionaire was a quality reality show about a hot guy named Evan who masqueraded as a wicked rich millionaire (hence the title!) when he was really a broke construction worker. A bunch of chicks tried to gold-dig their way into his pants before they found out he was po. In the end he selected earnest Z0ra who didn’t care about money, though they got to split a million bucks given to them by the producers! Surprisingly, they broke up after the show ended.

It KILLS me because I can’t find any videos online of my favorite contestant Melissa, who told us she was a “mercenary” kind of gal who really cared about the world and wanted to bathe babies in third world countries. Who doesn’t?

So–ABC–if you can’t get Ryan–you’ll hit the jackpot with Joe Millionaire!