Okay, so I don’t REALLY care what Emma Roberts does. Home girl is rich, has famous relatives, and is more than ten years younger than me. Bitch doesn’t need my advice, she’s doing just fine, thankyouverymuch.

HOWEVER, my beloved bible People Magazine asks us THIS question: Are Emma Roberts and Evan Peters–Tate from American Horror Story, dating??? Truly, does anyone give a f—? I highly doubt it. Emma played Nancy Drew after all, the lady can snoop around and draw her own conclusions.

Ahhh, to be 15 again and listen to Nirvana and think this dude is sexy and deep, and not just dead!

But as a fan of the half camp, half scary show American Horror Story–I mean, how can you not die when Zachary Quinto warns his cheating partner to “make sure you wear a condom”–I want Emma to run, like poor Violet never did! Yes, Tate/Evan is sexy/cute in that 17-year-old way when you discover Sylvia Plath and cigarettes, but he’s also dead, violent, and has a crazy mom. Go away Emma!

Now I gotta go to work. See you laterz!