Those Olsen Kids Are Gonna Make It, I Tell You!

Hey all!

Remember years ago there was this really cool show called Full House about a widow in San Francisco who raised his three daughters DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle with his brother-in-law Jesse and his bff Joey? It was SO original and innovative and cutting edge.

Perhaps the greatest star to emerge out of the show was Andrea Barber, the young actress who played Kimmy Gibbler, DJ’s best friend.

How rude!

But of course the one/s that are the RICHEST are those goddamn infant twins who played Michelle, Mary-Kate and Ashley. After Full House ended its run in 1995, the girls started their own production company, starred in one hundred billion direct to video movies, and one even became anorexic! Too soon?

To us who grew up with the Olsen twins, they will always be those little girls who weren’t even that cute as babies. I’m sorry, but it’s trues. Bitches just got lucky that they have ambitious parents. At any rate, it’s still weird to see Mary-Kate and Ashley living as adult women, but they ARE 26, so I guess it’s okay that they date adult men.

But I’m not gonna lie, I am SEVERELY CREEPED OUT to see that Mary-Kate’s new beau is Olivier Sarkozy, the 43-year-old half brother of former Prez of France Nicolas. It’s kind of like if a pre-Vanessa Paradise dated Bill Clinton’s brother Roger. This union of Hollywood and international politics is just so bizarre and it does not help at all that Mary-Kate looks like a kid standing next to Olivier.

Which one is the girlfriend and which one is the child? You decide!

I suppose I wish them happiness. I mean, stranger things have happened (Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise I am talking to you!). I hope Ashley doesn’t get too jealous. Perhaps she could date Aaron Alexander Cameron, the Prime Minister of the UK’s brother!

Goodbye for now!


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