Forget Blake. The Only Lively that Matters is Jason.

Blake Lively is in the news today because she just announced the birth of her baby with her husband, Canadian actor and all around snoozefest Ryan Reynolds.

Most boring couple alive.

Most boring couple alive.

Oh wow, I am so excited. What the world needs now is another rich beautiful baby. I can’t wait for the bebe’s guest post on Mama’s lifestyle website Preserve about what great artisanal recipe she made from her breast milk. GAG me.

Here’s the thing. I’m not jealous of Blake. I don’t hate her. But what I DO despise is the fact that whenever the world talks about Blake, the world neglects to mention the most important thing about her.

HER HALF-BROTHER IS RUSTY FROM NATIONAL LAMPOON’S EUROPEAN VACATION.

So sophisticated with that hat.

So sophisticated with that hat.

You heard/read me right. Blake’s older half brother is Jason Lively, the biggest star of the world’s greatest movie ever, European Vacation. Who’s Chevy Chase?

Rusty is important in so many ways.

He taught me new vocabulary, like that “pork” can also be used as a verb.

He taught me that Italy is the capital of high fashion.

And finally, Rusty taught me that you CAN wear white after Labor Day . . . if you’re as hot as HE is, that is.

I still cannot believe Jason Lively did not win a special Academy Award for Best Actor EVER for his role as Rusty in European Vacation.

And now he’s a forgotten footnote in cinematic history. Might as well be named Jason Deadly the way Hollywood ignores him.

And I’m supposed to care about Blake and her baby. Sorry. Cannot do.

Jason/Rusty–come back. I’ll show you boobs.

Not mine, but a nice German girl’s, perhaps . . . .

Rusty Germany boobs

 

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