Oh to be a kid! You get to do fun things like watch a lot of tv, not clean up after yourself, and bake treats with an Easy-Bake Oven! Sounds awesome!

Let’s go to town!

One of the great things about my childhood was watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. This man not only taught me a lot of lessons about being a good person, but he also inspired my love for cardigans. Thanks Fred!

But despite all his good acts, Mister Rogers sometimes scared the crap out of me. Well, to be accurate–HE didn’t scare the crap out of me, but one of his neighbors in the land of Make-Believe did. That’s right, I’m talking about that crazy bitch Lady Elaine Fairchilde.

Where’s my Boomerang-Toomerang-Zoomerang???

On one level, I was jealous of her home in the Museum-Go-Round. On every other level, those red cheeks and red nose reminded me too much of my Irish brethren, if you know what I mean.

And not only was she a little mean-looking, she was weird as sh–. Evidence below. Watch out Lady Aberlin!

1, 4, 3 to you anyways Mister Rogers!