The 1980s were a simpler time in many ways but perhaps the important one is that we didn’t have so many goddamn annoying M&M’s!

This is the second image that comes up when you google image search “Sexy M&M.” Apparently that’s a thing.

Don’t get me wrong, I still like to eat an M&M every now and then. My favorite snack at the rare occasion I go to the movies is pouring a pack of Peanut M&Ms in my popcorn. Sweet and salty!

But what disturbs me is the revisionist history Mars tries to give us on their story. When you go to the M&M Wikipedia page (and yes, I know that they don’t write it themselves but I am going to blame them anyway), NOWHERE does it mention that when I grew up in the 1980s there were no red M&M’s but instead tan ones. WTF Wikipedia writers? Are you denying the past?

As they say, those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. So let’s reminisce on a simpler time when the colors were tasty but blah. And you can bet your ASS they never melted in my hand because I ate the hell out of them instantly.