What the f— Golden Globes?

You didn’t nominate Quvenzhane Wallis as Best Actress, Drama for her flat out AMAAAAAZING performance as Hushpuppy in the best movie I saw all year (out of three, granted), Beasts of the Southern Wild?

Yo, cute little duckling? Can you believe this sh–?

What the flying F—! No I can’t even pronounce her name! And no I don’t even LIKE child actors. They make me all jealous that they’re all so successful so early in life while I have to buy generic sweet peas from Key Foods. I will never forgive Dakota Fanning for explaining overcoming her biggest adversity in life to date:

As a preschooler, Dakota Fanning couldn’t get roles because her hair was too thin: “I had really short, wispy hair, and the girls with perfect long, straight hair with bangs and a butterfly clip would always get picked.”

But anyway. I don’t trust the Globes regardless . . . I mean, I frigging LOVE me some Jessica Lange in American Horror Story, ridiculous Boston accent and all, but please someone tell me how the HELL AHS  is considered a mini-series???

Time to move on. All I can tell you is to watch Beasts of the Southern Wild. You will want to adopt Hushpuppy as much as I want to. For evidence, see below.

For a full list of nominees, many who are deserving, many who are not, click here.