Emmy Predictions 2014: The Rest of Them, Part 1

My dear readers, since the Emmys are beginning in about 5 minutes, and since I procrastinated, we’re cramming them all in this essay. Get ready!

We're doing this Road Runner style! Beep beep!

We’re doing this Road Runner style! Beep beep!

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Who I Want to Win: Fred Armisen as Various Characters, Portlandia

Who Will Win: Tony Hale as Gary Walsh, Veep. I’d be fine with that. Just don’t let Adam Driver win. Sure’s sexy in a really awkward way, but he’s too f—ing weird on the show.

Though he was a Marine in real life so that's hot.

Though he was a Marine in real life so that’s hot.

 

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series

Who I Want to Win: “Optical Tip-to-Tip Efficiency” on Silicon Valley. It was about jerking off the most people at once. Yup.

It's Bill from Freaks and Geeks! Still a geek!

It’s Bill from Freaks and Geeks! Still a geek!

Who Will Win: “So Did the Fat Lady” on Louie

Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series

Who I Want to Win: “Elevator, Part 6” on Louie

Who Will Win: “Vegas” on Modern Family

Outstanding Comedy Series

Who I Want to Win: Louie

Who Will Win: Modern Family. Let’s be f—ing honest with ourselves.

Outstanding Leading Actress in a Miniseries or Movie

Who I Want to Win: Allison Tolman as Deputy Molly Solverson, Fargo. But she wasn’t nominated. Booooo.

If I'm ever murdered, hire this fierce bitch to find my killer.

If I’m ever murdered, hire this fierce bitch to find my killer.

Who Will Win: Helena Bonham Carter as Elizabeth Taylor, Burton and Taylor. America loves British people.

Outstanding Leading Actor in a Miniseries or Movie

Who I Want to Win: Martin Freeman as Lester Nygaard, Fargo

Who Will Win: Mark Ruffalo as Ned Weeks, The Normal Heart

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie

Who I Want to Win: Allison Tolman as Deputy Molly Solverson, Fargo. Uh, I feel stupid (see above). But she was a leading actress in this show!

Who Will Win: Ellen Burstyn as Olivia, Flowers in the Attic. Just because it is amazing that she got nominated for this!

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie

Who I Want to Win: Tom Hank’s son in Fargo.

Who Will Win: Someone from The Normal Heart. Matt Bomer?

I’ll come back for more after these messages!

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