Well, well. Look at me slacking off. The Emmys are this MONDAY, and I have not even started making my predictions. What will the people do?

Probably be just fine, thankyouverymuch.

The ish, of course, is that the Emmys are a month earlier than usual. Last year, the Emmys took place on September 22. This year, August 25. Ummmmm . . . . I’m a popular person and it’s summertime so did you really expect me to make my predictions on time?

Well, enough excuses, Let’s get to it!

First up: Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series.

The nominees are:

• Michelle Dockery as Lady Mary Crawley, Downton Abbey
• Claire Danes as Carrie Mathison, Homeland
• Robin Wright as Claire Underwood, House of Cards
• Lizzy Caplan as Virginia Johnson, Masters of Sex
• Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope, Scandal
• Julianna Margulies as Alicia Florrick, The Good Wife

I watch precisely one of these shows–Downton Abbey, duh–so clearly my opinion will be very informed. I love my homegirl Michelle Dockery, but I’m still mad about the time she was kind of mean to Carson when he told her to snap out of her deep funk after her (spoiler alert) husband died in a car (were they called cars then?) accident the night their baby was born.

Too soon?

Also–I totally can’t remember what even happened last season. Maybe her acting was good? Eh. Who can remember back to January when the show aired.

Then there’s Claire Danes, who has won the Emmy for Lead Actress the past two years. I don’t watch Homeland, but all my friends who do said it was baaaad this season. So unless Jordan Catalano made an appearance, don’t give the Emmy to Claire.

I can’t tell who has the better hair.

I love Robin Wright because 1) she was Princess Buttercup 2) she divorced Sean Penn’s ass and 3) she’s engaged to Ben Foster, who is 14 years younger than her. Plus she looks fierce as hell with short hair and I LOVE a bitch who rocks short hair.

Perfection.

So while I don’t watch House of Cards (unless someone gives me their Netflix password. Then I’ll watch House of Cards.), I love her.

Lizzy Caplan is cool because she was on Freaks and Geeks but without a subscription to Showtime I am not at liberty to assess her performance as a master of sex. Sorry!

Everyone loves Kerry. Who’s Raymond again? Last year the world was shocked, SHOCKED, when she did not take home the Emmy. She’s a classy broad so I’d be okay with her winning.

So damn pretty

Julianna Margulies was nominated again this year after being left out in 2013. She won in 2011 so don’t feel too bad for her. I’ve never watched an episode of The Good Wife but Julianna has a cute husband so even if she doesn’t win she gets to go home to someone hot.

So there you have my really observant analysis.

Verdict time:

Who I Want to Win: Robin Wright

Who Will Win: Kerry Washington