Emmy Predictions: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Yo! With the Emmys just a few days away I gotta get methin’ on my predictions.

(Wait. Did I just write the word methin’, which isn’t even really a word? I meant crackin’. I gotta get crackin’ on my predictions. Oops. Used the wrong drug as a verb. CLEARLY I have someone on my mind.)

I miss this mean evil bastard!

I miss this mean evil bastard!

So right now I’m going to do my prediction for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series.

The noms:

  • Bryan Cranston as Walter White, Breaking Bad
  • Kevin Spacey as Francis Underwood, House of Cards
  • Jon Hamm as Don Draper, Mad Men
  • Jeff Daniels as Will McAvoy, The Newsroom
  • Matthew McConaughey as Rust Cohle, True Detective
  • Woody Harrelson as Martin Hart, True Detective

Jesus F—ing Christ. Do I even have to bother?

The meanest man alive!

You don’t need glasses to see who I want to win.

All right, let me talk about who will NOT get it.

Kevin Spacey. Bastard already has two Oscars. Why be greedy.

He also has Gwyneth Paltrow's head in a box. What, too soon?

He also has Gwyneth Paltrow’s head in a box. What, too soon?

Jon Hamm. He may be the Susan Lucci of the REAL Emmys–he’s been nominated 10 times for Mad Men and 30 Rock and has never won–but he also carries around a VERY big package on a day to day basis. He doesn’t need an Emmy.

You know I had to do it one last time.

Why hello there.

Jeff Daniels. He won the Emmy last year, which almost made me puke. Don’t get me wrong–I LOVE Jeff Daniels.

Does the word "Arachnophobia" mean anything to you?

Does the word “Arachnophobia” mean anything to you?

But I could get through just three episodes of The Newsroom, it was so smug. Ughhhh.

And then there is True Detective, which started off strong but became such a convoluted mess I almost hurled again! Granted, Matthew and Woody’s performances were all right, all right, all right . . . but during the final few episodes I had no idea what was going on and who was who. Though I WILL say the series featured one of my all time favorite lines, spoken by McConaughey (duh): “With all the dick swagger you roll you can’t spot crazy pussy?”

Looks like they smelled some putrid pussy.

Looks like they spotted some putrid pussy here.

So, uh, just give Bryan the f—ing Emmy, okay? Otherwise he might have to pawn one from Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Not to brag, but I know the people who wrote and directed that. Paul W. Downs and Lucia Aniello. Which makes me, uh, a pop culture blogger with, uh, mass insight? Maybe? But I digress.

Verdict time:

Who I Want to Win: Bryan Cranston

Who Will Win: Bryan Cranston

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