Remember When You Wanted to Sleep With Britney Spears?

But you felt REALLY guilty because she was oh, all of 17? Ahhh, those were the days.

I feel dirty even posting this.

But who am I kidding? Y’all are all pervs who like to look at bulging outlines of Jon Hamm’s package. Of course you don’t feel guilty about lusting after Britney! That’s why I love you! Not because you’re pervs, but because you’re shameless! So am I!

But first, one more of Jon Hamm packing heat!

Anyone, let’s back on track. Britney Spears has been famous for like a zillion years, but since her divorce from Kevin Federline in 2007, girlfriend has been a HOT MESS. We won’t even go into details because we all remember it: the shaving of the head, the attacking paparazzi, the best New York Post headline of all time:

Ahhh, poor girl. But now Britney’s handlers are trying to sell her as rehabilitated what with that borderline creepy older fiance Jason Trawick who looks so much like Sam Merlotte from True Blood that I expect him to shift whenever he posts a video on Twitter and now her starring role on The X Factor alongside Simon Cowell and fellow fallen teen star Demi Lovato, which premieres TONIGHT!

Svengali or Shape Shifter . . . you decide!

I have ZERO interest in a singing competition show, but I am not gonna lie, I am TOTALLY DVRing The X Factor. While I’m sure Ms. Spears will be heavily medicated to control impromptu Cheetos snacking, I’m also hoping her old spunk will pop out. Chaotic, anyone?

Bit Brit, we love you and want you back!!!

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